Living Here is Choosing to Bang Your Head Against the Wall.

I love Africa. Zanzibar is by far my least favorite spot. Mainland Tanzanian is a different world in comparison to Zanzibar, although the same country. My favorite times in Zanzibar were when we were getting on a plane to fly literally anywhere else.

I do not believe that Zanzibar is a place meant to be lived in. It's fine for a short visit, but the expats that live here, with successful businesses, will be the first people to tell you that 4 months is their max here. Then they have to leave for a month or 3 and then return. Why they come back, is beyond me.

Its nearly impossible to have a normal life here. Between lack of products (chicken, veggies etc) and just how difficult the Zanzibarians make everything. Living here is the definition of the African corruption you hear about and it will drive you absolutely mad when you are faced with it. I fully understand no matter what I write in these blogs, the frustrations and struggles we faced will never be understood. People think, "ya, but youre in paradise! it cant be that bad!!" Well, I can assure you, this place has brought out a level of anger I didn't even know I had in me. I can comfortably say, I do not like the person this place makes me at times. And I have heard these exact words from the closest people I have become friends with on this island, so I know it's not just us. Also, after reading so many books about expats times here; reading about their similar struggles & frustrations, I know it is not us. Hearing that 4 months is peoples max here, was a huge red flag I began to understand just a few short months of being here. Why do they keep coming back is beyond me?

Could I ever imagine yelling and threatening immigration officers in the united states? Could I ever imagine yelling at ANYONE doing an office job in the united states? No. I couldn't. I couldnt imagine it, because I dont think it would ever have to get to that point. The corruption here runs deep and it has brought out a side of me I didn't even know I had in me. They show you no respect and they do not care. It feels impossible to get anything accomplished. They have you running in circles until they come up with their next lie for you. It's like truly choosing to bang your head up against the wall. I have had 4 solid breaking points here, where I was so angry I felt sick. How long do you stay in a place youll NEVER find peace? I swear my favorite moments on this island were when I was getting on a plane to go literally anywhere else.

It's almost an art how they can take the simplest task and turn it into an issue. It's truly incredible. To witness it happen is rather mind blowing and then when you witness it every. single. day. you realize, to live here is like choosing to bang your head up against the wall, all day long.

Even the people we have met here, my favorite locals are not even true Zanzibarians, they are all from mainland Tanzania. Zanzibarians are my least favorite Africans. They are arrogant, rude, misogynists, lazy and demanding. Lazy is actually an understatement.

They are never, ever on time. They will tell you that they are on their way to you, have you waiting HOURS. Then you realize they are not coming. So they next day they tell you they are coming still, on their way, on the bus... and still, not show. They will show up 8 days later pissed off that YOU are not home when they arrived and actually have the audacity to give you an attitude. This IS not just a fluke; this is ALL the time.

As I am writing this, I take a call from Nina. Who has been to the ZIPA office SEVEN times (this is 1.5 hours away), and every time she goes, they make up new items/documents she is to submit. It's like they do not know the answers or how to do anything, so they just make you go thru an endless obstacle course, that literally makes you go insane. This is just a game to them at this point. It's an art how badly they can turn the smallest task into an issue.

It is literally every single day you deal with this, and I can give you 1000000’s of examples. But here, I’ll give you some of my favorites:

When we were in the rental before we moved into the villa, the AC unit was leaking and dripping on to a power outlet. So we told the owners and he called a fundi (mechanic). They came and looked at the unit as it it was their first time seeing an AC unit (they’re all the same here), stared at the unit in our room for at LEAST 1 hour before even touching it. I finally said, "are you going to open it or wait for it to come down on it's own?" They finally began to try to take it down and then I realized they had no idea what they were doing. They took the unit outside, tore it apart for TWELVE HOURS. (This is NOT an exaggeration). Let me remind you, this was just a simple leak. It was not broken. Well, ,If it wasn't broken before; It sure was now. Then they left, because it was midnight. And they never came back. They never got paid. They spent TWELVE of their own hours destroying an AC unit and never came back. Until 2 months later they showed up out of the blue, asking to be paid. (for a job they never completed and for destroying the AC unit)

Before we really realized what we were getting into with our villa, we left the house with some workers in it, to come home to find them sleeping on our sofas. Then when we asked them to leave, they looked at us like we were the crazy ones.

A task as simple as hanging selves: No matter the level of craftsmen they are, you have to explain to them precisely where the brackets go, or they will just throw them on the shelf anywhere, not even. And you have to measure and level it for them to hang, or you will have crocked shelves. You have to check their tools that you sent them to the store for, because if not they will have 3 inch screws for a shelf that is 1 inch thick.

After having a few workers do some work on the outside of the villa, they were all hanging out in our yard. Our private yard. Then their friends came. We literally had to push them out the gate to leave, so we could have privacy.

We go out for a bite to eat.

Me: may i have an iced coffee?

waitress: "no don't have"

me: do you have coffee?

waitress: yes.

me: do you have ice?

waitress: yes.

me: may i have them both in one glass?

waitress: ............... no. don't have.

we were having cushions made for the outdoor bench. We bought the fabric, we bought the cushions. we CUT the fabric and cushions. Literally all they had to do was sew them together. We give them 6 days, although they told us 2 (we know Swahili time well). we show up, these things are completely butchered. It took more effort for them to royally fuck this up than what we prepped for them. just when i thought, "there is no possible way they can fuck this up." they go an totally redeem themselves.

you hire a fundi (carpenter. mechanic, etc) and they tell you that they will come Tuesday at 11 am. They show up the following Friday at 6 pm, drunk, and annoyed you are not home.

at the airport waiting to pick up guests. the sign for the arrivals is broken. Ryan walks into the office, doesn't see anyone. when he is about to leave the office, he sees a foot from behind the open door. so he moves the door and she wakes up.

ryan says "can you check on this flight to see when it arrives?"

worker: "check the sign."

ryan: the sign is not working. it is off or broken.

worker: ......... why?

ryan: ........are you asking me why the sign is broken?

worker: yes.

mechanics taking our friend Wills green Jeep (the only one on the island) for joy rides and donuts in the soccer parking lot. Neighbors see it and record it and send it to will. Will calls the mechanic and send him the videos. They mechanic lies and says "that wasn't me."

Going out to eat, it is very common that one person will receive their meal and the other is sold their meal isn't available.

Mechanics: you need to stay with your vehicle, or they will swap parts on you. Or just take parts.

Nina had so much work to be done in her villas, she worked along side them to make sure things were done correctly. They finally bring her appliances in and leave them to it to install. They install the hood to her stove, but didn't run the wires behind the wall / backsplash, then. they just left the cord hanging down and plugged it in to the closest outlet. So she explains to him, "this was supposed to go behind the wall." and he just looks at her,....... "so what do we do?"

the time we had massive leaks in our villa, they rushed to put staging up acting like they were "on it", only to let the staging sit for weeks. they randomly they show up to start taking it down. We rush out to stop them, they try telling us "yes sir, we have already done the work." ........ "uh. unless you were invisible that day, no one has been here to do any work. ever."

Cracked tub, they go to remove it. The tub is made of stone. they drag it across tile floors. destroying all the tiles in the doings.

Flooding, raining inside our villa, the developer tells us, "its just condensation from the AC units."

friends flying home. they each have 3 bags. 6 bags total. She could not wrap her head around this. it was like we were asking her to solve quantum physics. Took us literally 45 minutes to explain this.

we began to pay workers to do work around our villa so we could get it done and on the market. then word got out and our home became a revolving door of anyone, people i had never seen before, coming and asking us for money.

Nina went looking for the cushions for her villa she had been asking for, for months, and Muthu (one of the managers on site, from India) told her they were coming. She sat and waited up front for HOURS. then she decided to go into the storage room to look for the cushions herself. Muthu followed her in, helped her look for the cushions for an ADDITIONAL HOUR, then broke and told her "your cushions were never ordered ma’am." This is how delusional, how insane these people were. He put on a whole show for her, this complete charade.

I have come to the conclusion that if any task at all requires any sort of energy, or critical thinking, they're out.

I would never blame the workers, because they do not know. their leader, their bosses, were all from India. I have realized it is easier for Indians to lie to you to make you happy for just that one moment, rather than just tell you the truth. Even if they know you are going to find out the truth in a moments time. They will still choose to lie to you.

Our friend David, with a shirt he bought on island. "PARSDISE" .....completely fitting.