Risks & Rewards.

"It is always better to regret something you did, than didn't do." - This is a quote I read somewhere in my teens and it has always stuck in my head. I was always afraid to make moves outside of my comfort zone before I made the decision to move to Florida when I was 19. I wrote out a bucket list of things I wanted to do, small goals to huge goals and I firmly believe the courageous move to Florida at a young age was what ripped the bandaid off for me. From there, 'check after after check' on the bucket list started to happen.

I think our society teaches children that confidence comes from looks and materialistic items, but really, confidence comes from personal goals achieved. Like a bucket list consisting on "how to floss better so I don't hear it from the dentist" to "swimming with great white sharks" to "graduating college and doing something i love." THIS is where confidence comes from, personal goals achieved. I think the the worst piece of advice I have ever received (and it was recent), was someone telling me to throwout my bucket list. Clearly, nearing the end of my bucket list.. This did not apply to me, but I found it interesting, coming from someone who has basically never left his small town. Was it regret that he didn't achieve any of his personal goals in life and in the process of wishing he had? I don't know. But I DO know that I feel pretty content with the life I have lived so far and I know I will NOT be on a deathbed someday saying "man, I WISH i did those things I always wanted to do." ....... It's always better to regret something you did, than to regret something you didn't do.

I get it, I know I haven't lived the most "conventional" lifestyle, but who is to define what is normal? When people asked me in high school what I wanted to major in at College; it felt like so much pressure to figure your life out at such a young age. I had a ton of answers for what I wanted to be in life, so I never really had a straight answer. All I knew was that I wanted to live an interesting one.

Now moving on to one of the HARDEST items on the bucket list: The Move Abroad.

When the decision came, I was at a point in my life that I was pretty damn content. Beautiful home, growing travel business, friends, a new godson, part of an incredible gym community, back in New England loving the change of seasons, Halloween display that had people driving by and taking photos... It was pretty damn awesome.

My amazing husband had spent his 20's and 30's raising 2 great kids. He's an amazing father and one of the most selfless people I know. Us traveling to and from Africa lit a fire in him that I loved seeing. He was so resistant to anything out of his comfort zone and when I successfully pulled him out of that comfort zone, I saw a completely new side to him. He began talking about buying a home over in Africa, which was beginning to make more and more sense, since we were traveling to and from so much. Although i was totally ok with skipping "live abroad" on my bucket list, I began to realize this might be another check off the list after all. I started to digest the thought and it was a cool feeling to think about having a "home" in the one place we loved most. Then he started sending me real estate listings & I finally had to find out how serious he was. He played it off like it was just a pipe dream, but when I asked him, "do you think you'll regret not doing this someday later in life?" I could see his wheels turning. And that was it. As much as i was comfortable, finally having my roots in the ground, I knew this was the time to do it (if we were going to do it at all). I knew if i let my comfort roots grow deeper, this was never going to happen. It had to be now or never.

Most people think it was my idea, but in all actuality, it was Ryan's. I wanted to see him live a chapter of his life for himself and I just happen to be down for it all. Little did I know this would be the HARDEST item on the bucket list.

No risk, no reward. We took a HUGE risk. We didn't buy a home, we decided to build:

a villa.

on an island.

an underdeveloped island.

off the coast of Africa.

HUGE risk. I guess we didn't fully comprehend the risk at the time. So we packed up our belongings and our dogs and bought one way tickets under false hopes fed to us by the developer. We showed up, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, excited for this chapter; being completely bitch slapped by reality on day 1. (more on this in another blog)

Constant chaos became our new normal, rather quickly. But maybe this is what we needed? It has challenged our inner beings to a degree I didn't know possible. It brought us both to our knees, making us face our weaknesses, over and over again, until we were forced to change our ways. It's incredible reflecting back on all the chaos over the last 2 years that we have experienced and actually see the good that came out of it, especially on a personal level.

Being the minority, by FAR (less than 1%) has been an incredible experience. It’s eye-opening on so many levels. It’s truly amazing what is has done for our mindsets.

After chapters in my life, I always try to find what I got out of it, even if it was something minor. This chapter though, felt like a trilogy. SO many moments we discussed quitting and moving home. Repeatedly we would be beyond upset about numerous different things, and Ryan would beg me to move home. But, perhaps it is the stubborn side of me; i refused to quit. The island has brought out a level of anger in me that I didn't even know I possessed, but yet, I refused to quit. Another quote i came across at some point in my life, "you cannot fail unless you quit". BUT, I am also a firm believer in that you'll never find peace in a place you do not belong.. I stuck with not quitting and found travel as an outlet for us to cope.

If you do not take risks in life, you will miss out on so many opportunities. We took a risk and SOOO many times, I would ask Ryan, "what was all this for? what are we gaining out of this??" He would always reassure me, " I don't think we will know until the very end." Sometimes, I think God tests you, to see how truly bad you want something in life. We never quit, We never gave up. And in the end, we profited bit time on the sale of the villa, had opportunities arise that never wouldve come our way if we hadnt made this move, oh and we got to travel a ton & experience some pretty awesome things in life.

One thing is for sure, I have never been so certain about any one person in my life, than I am of my husband. I didn't know it was possible for us to grow closer, but we did. If anyone really wanted to put their marriage to the test, i'd encourage them to move to a remote island thats not fully developed. I would think 99% of the people would be running home after the first hiccup. But, we stuck thru it all. And managed to constantly pick the other one up when falling and CONSTANTLY made each other laugh. He is my favorite person, my favorite thing in this world.

Although living abroad was on my bucket list, it was an item I was willing to skip. I did it for him. I have been pretty damn selfish my whole life, focused solely on me whereas he has been selfless his entire life. Maybe I should've caved and took him up on us moving back when we wanted to quit at times, but I was pretty damn stubborn about not quitting and adamant that this would end on a good note.

And it did. All of it worked out. 😊 We took a huge risk and were rewarded huge with opportunities. We have experienced so much in 2 years and forever grateful for Africa. We are more in love with Africa now than we ever have been.